I Quit...

If a picture paints a thousand words... then what are they?

What do you see in the picture?

How does it feel like looking at it?

I quit. So from today onwards this blog will no longer be functioning until I find way to love writing again.

love story

She wasn’t looking at the ring when you held it out for her. She isn’t the materialistic type and she didn’t mind whichever ring you picked out.

She was looking into your eyes instead and listening to what you were saying. It was as if suddenly the whole world was still. The only sound she could hear was your voice. It was what you said that surprised her. You didn’t choose cheesy or complicated words. All you had to say was simple but meaningful. It went something like this “It has always been you. I have always loved you and I always will......”

It was like a moment of clarity for her. It was as if the missing pieces of a puzzle had been found. The sentence ‘it has always been you’ made her think back of the 5 years being best friends. No other guy could say ‘it has always been you’ to her because at some point of time those other guys must have dated/liked/loved some other girl before.

You never needed her to change who she was. You never told her what kind of person she should become. Everyone else forced her to change. Every other guy she knew wanted her to become someone else that fit their liking and criteria. But you were different. You love her despite of her weaknesses. You love her just the way she was and you didn’t need anything to change. All you ever wanted was her to truly be herself.

Flashbacks of memories before made her smile. But do you know what struck her the most? It wasn’t the orchestrated fireworks or the beautiful garden displayed in front of the both of you. It wasn’t really about those words because she knew the sincerity of your heart for as long as you’ve been friends. The thing that struck her the most was how happy you looked when you said those words. The immense glow of happiness on your face was like a Kodak moment. It was as if you were the happiest and most contented man alive. And she was happy because she made you happy.

Well the answer to that question is still left unanswered. You both were probably dating for a really long time otherwise it would be ridiculous for you to just ask something like that out of the blue. The only way to know the answer is for you to ask her for real this time...

work baby work!

I just realised that Port Dickson seems pretty near from my house. 1 hour away only...
I suddenly feel like taking a drive there by myself.
Actually anywhere that has a beach is cool for me.
I want to hear the waves crashing on the shores and feel the sand in between my feet. Hehe
I want peace of mind.
I’m tired of always explaining myself and being misunderstood. Nowadays when people just don’t understand my responsibilities, the stuff I’ve been through or why I’m different...I just smile. Because I’m just too lazy to layan them all already. Good strategy right? =)
For once I want to live my life the way I see it.
For once I don’t want to care what other people think. Or what friends say.
I really wished everyday was 5th January.
Work life is going to start soon. I’m happy to look forward to it. =)
It’s a new environment. More friends to meet. More stress to face also...haha. Can say it’s a new life for me.
I thank God for giving me this job. Now many friends want to apply there also. Don’t know is it cause they like the job description or the benefits or wat else? Don’t ask me if got leng lui or leng chai ah...that kind of thing I don’t know at all. Haha.. All I know is that there will be 2 new FA guys but we will be supporting different teams. It’s where Happy People work, get it? hehe (That’s what I hope lahhhh....ahahaha)
I thank God for graciously walking with me through the toughest times in my life. REALLY STRESS GILA that time...hehe...He really gives us what we want or something better. Sometimes we think this thing is the best for us but actually God has a better and bigger plan for us.
Thanks Diane for your support ...And for driving me so early in the morning. Thanks for believing in me even when I knew I’d fail all those tests. Haha...
Thanks Rachel for listening to me crap and complain non-stop. And for interpreting my dreams. Haha. (Don’t worry Mouth will find you soon. Hee hee)
I love you both very very much =)
Like giving speech at the Academy awards only...haha.

Change again...

Tapping on my keyboard...

I should be studying for the tomorrow’s test instead of reminiscing about the old days...

Sorry I can’t help it...haha...my mind has to wonder off somehow.

My best friend (lion lew...haha) always say that “change is the only thing constant.”


That is 100% true.


I just haven’t been able to embrace change yet.


The thing is I hate change. I’m afraid of it.


There I finally said it out loud...I mean wrote it down black and white.


I hate going into the unknown. I don’t know where my life will be like in 2 years...5 years...10 years time. Heck, I don’t even know what my life will be like in 18 days...


Honestly I’m scared beyond scared.


I salute those of my friends who have moved on with their lives. I don’t know how they do it. I don’t know how you can just forget about things that happened or the good friends you made over the years. How? It just seems so unreal. I suspect that they are ALIENS~


I met a friend at an interview one day. He told me that sooner or later the good friends in college will forget about you, you’ll hang out less with them until the point where they become nonexistent. (Okay, I added the nonexistent part...haha). But at first I regarded what he said as a myth. A myth, a belief that I can prove wrong. Cause I think that if we put effort to meet or contact each other then we can still get the friendship going right? I still plan to prove him wrong you know (fingers crossed!).


You know koko Duckie (haha) said something I will never forget. He said: “We all have to move on with our lives. Why worry about these small things?”


I hate to admit it but he is right. I mean this is the time to grow up. And if changes come, don’t be afraid of it...for once I should look forward for it in a positive way. I shouldn’t hold on so tightly to people and circumstances of the past. If they can move with the change then why can’t I?


You see...I have nothing to lose tomorrow well (maybe just my pride) but still I feel intimidated and afraid. Silly right? I just hate being labelled stupid. The very core of my soul hates when people call me stupid. You know why? I came to the realisation that sometimes I believe I am stupid. But today I have changed my thinking. If tomorrow I do not pass that daunting test it doesn’t mean I am stupid, it just means I’m in 90% of the population (Bell curve lah). Correct? It means I am normal. And by the way,by whose standards do we benchmark smartness? There’s always someone who is smarter than the smartest person right?


Time to grow up. Time to put away my childish thoughts. 1 Corinthians 14:20 says: “ Brothers, stop thinking like children. In regard to evil be infants, but in your thinking be adults.”


Please read this book. It makes you change your thinking about change.

The Innocent Man

Justice and Fairness... These are the 2 things lacking in this world.

I have finished reading John Grisham’s book ‘The Innocent Man’. The book is so frightening to read because its gruesome tale is a true life story.

It’s about the life of Ron Williamson. He was a star college baseball player who was destined to chase after his dreams. But in 1982, the police arrested him for murder. A murder he did not commit. There were no DNA evidence and no trace of him near the young woman who was raped and brutally murdered. And he was wrongfully convicted and sent to Death Row.

The trial given to him was never fair. A bunch of liars took the stand and gave fake testimonies against him. The prosecutors made it their duty to paint a bad picture of this innocent man so that he would be sentenced to Death.

By the way, Death Row isn’t like the way we see it in ‘Prison Break’. Death Row is a serious place. A place where few people have gone and have never returned. Ron was in jail a total of 12 years. Imagine waiting in prison for that day when you will be dragged off the tiny cell you live in to be executed. Imagine not having proper food. Imagine being given 2 pairs of clothes to wear for the rest of your life. Imagine not being able to see your family. Imagine that only 1 hr a day is given to you to breathe fresh air in 4 wall brick compound. Finally imagine you were convicted for something you never did. How would you keep your sanity?

He spent years in prison before his appeal was ever heard. Only after 12 years, he was exonerated. 12 years! 12 years of his life lost. His mother died when he was in prison. He eventually died after being freed from prison due to some liver disease. He prayed to God to take him home.

Everyday someone is being wrongfully sentenced to death. I pray that God will watch over these people and give them the true life that awaits them beyond death.

This was a hard book to read. It taught me how short life is. How we take things for granted and people too. We can’t guarantee that we will be here on earth tomorrow. How meaningless my life suddenly becomes when I read this book.

5th January

Today I woke up and I realised it was 5th January. =)
I couldn’t help but smile. =)

I like this day.

Every year it’s the day that I eagerly wait for.

And every year good things always happen on this day. Maybe it’s just coincidence. But I think that God really blessed this day and made it extra special for me. =) The day that reminds me I can still dream big dreams and hope for the best.

I’d like to say thanks to Sze for sending these all the way from Paris. I just got them today. =) haha...

Happy New Year:)

It’ll be new year in 30 minutes time... (bdw, this blog time slow wan so don’t kena tipu)
New Year=New Beginning

I’m not going to make any new year’s resolution...cause I always break them. So I’m just going to say that I’ll work hard to try to be a better person. I feel so much better today=)

Someone once said : “ You can’t make someone love you, all you can do is be someone who can be loved, the rest is up to the person to realise your worth.”

So for now I want to chase after my dreams now and change to be a better person (hopefully). And maybe one day someone will see my worth and accept all my imperfections & mistakes. =)

By the way, I just want to wish everyone Happy 2009. May you have a life full of happiness, good health, money and always be around those you love. =)

Oh and I wrote this poem for a good friend of mine a few days ago. Although it is quite lousy but I really mean the words I wrote. So I just hope I’m forgiven.

I look forward for sleep
To avoid facing the sadness I keep
I hide away from everyone
Because there’s nothing that can undo what’s done
I was once your best friend
But now it feels like the end
Everything I said that day was a mistake
Please forgive me for our friendship’s sake
Life is too short for you to be mad
So stop thinking about the things I did that make you sad
I hope you know I’m truly sorry
Especially for those times I made you worry
I know I uttered some mean words
It probably hurt you more than real swords
I admit that I was wrong
But why are you still avoiding me for so long?
Can’t you see that I still care?
So please stop giving me that angry stare
Why can’t you just forgive and forget?
And go back to the time we first met?
I wish I could have my best friend back
So that happy memories in future we will not lack